"Dying Inside" WD - Meaning

This is not a cover reveal or blitz post.
I'm supposed to be working on Wildest Dreams and getting it all fixed so I can send it to the editor. I can't finish it until I discuss the chapter "Dying Inside" because it's an emotional chapter. 
These days I seem to be more emotional than ever and honestly I hate it. I blame it on the birth control shot I get. I know TMI.  ;)
At least I think it will help me get through the chapter when I go read it again.

When you read Wildest Dreams you wouldn't think it would get to the point that it does when you read the chapter Dying Inside. It does and that's because I wanted the readers to feel how badly Alaina feels inside, not physically but emotionally.

We all have those days. especially in relationships.
Of course something bad is happening for Alaina to feel this way. I know many people have been there, myself included which is why I wrote it in the first place. *This book is not based on my life* I have to say that just in case anyone is wondering.
However, there will be similarities just because there ARE things in my life that inspire me to write certain scenes and dialogue.

Anyway, where were we?

Right, relationships.
They can be good and they can be bad. You think everything is going so well and then NOPE shit happens that's out of your control. You can't be perfect, no one is. You do what you can and hope that people accept you. If they don't, oh well. There's nothing more you can do.
The person probably has issues anyway. :P

What's really sad it's when you give 100% but the other person doesn't. Somehow they "tried" to make it work but not really. They didn't try. They're just looking for an excuse to get out.
After you put them first for so long and you do everything and anything to make them happy.
In the end you realize you couldn't. You're only human.
All along they played with your feelings and don't even care about the damage they've done. There's no consequences for them, for the waste of time and everything you put into that relationship and for that person to just ruin it so easily.
Like it was garbage. Like it was nothing. Like you never meant nothing.
It's like the Bruno Mars song Grenades.
"Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same"
Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic but you get the point right?

So Dying Inside on Wildest Dreams has a lot more depth than what you think when you first read it. I can't get into the details of it because the book isn't complete yet and I don't want to spoil important plot points. If and when you read it just think about this post and you may feel some of what Alaina feels at that point.

Wildest Dreams is a romance/suspense new adult story.
The book is coming soon, check my Facebook page and sign up to my mailing list for updates!
-Stef